Jul 30, 2014 | For Writers, Uncategorized
If you’ve ever thought you might crumble under the burden of perfection (and who among us hasn’t?) you’ll want to meet my friends Kathi and Cheri. They’ve just written a book especially for us!
Here’s a little about each of them so you’ll know who they are before we dive into questions & answers:
Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker and the author of several books, including The Husband Project and Get Yourself Organized Project. She and her husband, Roger, live in California and are the parents of four young adults.
Cheri Gregory spends her weekdays teaching teens and weekends speaking at women’s retreats. She’s been married to her college sweetheart, Daniel, for 25 years. The Gregory’s and their college-age kids, Annemarie and Jonathon, live in California.
I recently spoke with both of them about their new book, The Cure for the “Perfect” Life. Here’s what they had to say:
When did you first realize you wanted to become an author? How did you sense the call of God to write?
Kathi: I’m a speaker by nature, but was told over and over. “If you want to speak, you need to write.” (Which, failing freshman English and being dyslexic, terrified me.) The call of God really didn’t come until after my first book, The Husband Project. I prayed and felt no resistance to writing (except my own,) but now I really do feel God’s pleasure (after my pain!)
Cheri: My first book was published when I was 2. (I’ve attached a photo!) So I’ve always considered myself an author. I felt the yearning to write as a teen whenever I heard Christian women speakers share their testimonies so transparently — I wanted to be able to communicate in such a way that gave hope and healing to others. I attended many trainings in my 20s and 30s, but each time God made it clear that He and I had a LOT of work to do in my life before I’d be ready to write for anyone else!
What propelled you to write a book on such a challenging topic?
Kathi: I tend to write on subjects that keep coming up in my life. This is a subject that showed up repeatedly when Cheri and I spoke. And then I started to see the threads in other relationships and conversations.
Cheri: I wrote and performed a monologue called “The PERFECT(ionism) Crime (http://youtu.be/rzg5Jl4apTI) in 2012 in which I personified Perfectionism and accused him publicly of the crimes committed against the women in my family. I then surveyed my blog readers about the four “P bullies” and was astounded by the detailed responses they gave, telling how these bullies have beaten and controlled them, too.
Why did you choose to co-author The Cure for the “Perfect” Life? What are the benefits of co-authoring and under what circumstances would you recommend it?
Kathi: Cheri has a ton of strengths I don’t have and we’ve worked on projects together that have proven over and over that we balance each other well. I mean, who wouldn’t want to choose their coworkers? That being said, I’ve had one of the hardest years of my life, and have had to rely on Cheri way more than either of us ever expected. I’m grateful Cheri lives out what she writes about – we’ve had brave conversations about expectations, and so far, it’s worked. And if there is a point it doesn’t work, we will have another brave conversation.
With coauthoring, it’s easy to be attracted to people with similar giftings. While it’s fun in the dreaming stages of a book, like a marriage, you need someone who will complement you and your weaknesses. Cheri does that for me.
Cheri: I happened to mention to Kathi on a phone call that I’d come up with a book title: “Good Girls Break Bad Rules.” And she said, “I wish I’d thought of that!” She mentioned it to her agent who said she’d love to see the proposal. Since I LOVE collaboration and synergy, I told Kathi that I would FAR rather write it with her than alone.
The benefits of co-authoring are myriad. Our readers are getting two very different perspectives. We had no trouble divvying up the 12 “bully belief” chapters — it was so clear which were mine and which were Kathi’s! So the right gal wrote the right chapter. Also, Kathi and I have very different strengths/approaches as authors. I’m very good at defining and exploring the problem; Kathi’s amazing at coming up with practical solutions and inspiring women to change. (I’m the “Woah” and “Oww” girl … Kahti’s the “Woo” and “Wow” gal.)
And quite frankly, I would never have been offered a contract to write this book alone. Kathi’s platform and long-term relationship with Harvest House were the key factors in the book becoming a reality.
How did researching and writing this book help you conquer your own struggles with trying-harder living?
Kathi: Sometimes writing down your story is the most powerful thing you can do. When you put a little light on the situation, you can see it from different angles than when you’re in the midst of it. Seeing my own struggles in the light of perfectionism has been eye-opening to say the least. I’m pretty laid back, but when things don’t go according to how I feel they should go, I tend to lose it. Accepting this as not just my reality, but as most women’s, was empowering.
Cheri: I have to write from experience, not just theory. I can’t tell others what they ought to do if I’m not doing it myself. I don’t mean living “perfectly” but I do mean living with integrity. So during the 15 months we had to write this book, I was very conscious that the important thing was the daily journey God was taking me on to battle the bullies and their beliefs. The book was simply (to quote Emily Freeman) the souvenir. Probably the greatest evidence that I’ve made progress is the fact that I didn’t stress during the last two weeks leading up to our deadline. I put in plenty of writing and revising time, but I also kept a (relatively!) clean house, spent time with my family, exercised, showered, ate healthfully, and slept well.
More recently, as in just yesterday, my husband and I missed a flight out of Serbia due to a gate change. We’d been at the original gate for 1.5 hours, but our plane left without us from a different gate; we heard no announcements. It’s cost us over $2,000, and back when the P bullies ruled my life, I would have been in tears. I might have yelled at the ticket agent and demanded that they rebook us without charging us. I would have considered the entire trip “totally ruined.” I would have decided that this meant I was unfit for international speaking and should never accept an international invitation again. What actually happened was very different. I was able to let go of “what should have happened” and focus simply on “what is now happening.” We made the best alternate arrangements we could. I stayed calm and was able to enjoy the rest of the day. I will still talk with customer service and see if we can get our money back; if we can’t, I will not berate or punish myself. I will adjust our family budget and trust God to figure out where that “missing” $2,000+ is going to come from. All of this represents enormous growth for me!
In what ways can readers expect to become braver by reading The Cure for the “Perfect” Life?
Kathi: I think we are brave in numbers. When you read other’s stories and see yourself in them, you will understand that this isn’t just a “me” issue, it’s a “we” issue. When we see that so many of us are struggling with, and conquering, the same issue, it gives us strength to know that God has helped many, and can (and will!) help me.
Cheri: Kathi coined the great phrase “tiny acts of rebellion” and we’re already hearing from readers who are making brave little choices that are having HUGE repercussions, both in their own families and with their friends. One woman turned in a paper that was “done enough” rather than spend two more days fussing over it; she spent those two days enjoying her children and husband. That’s a Tiny Act of Rebellion; that’s BRAVER LIVING! Another woman realized that the frantic activity schedule she’d planned for her three children this fall was entirely driven by the P bullies; she re-assessed everything and made changes that better reflect her family’s values and her children’s needs. That’s a Tiny Act of Rebellion; that’s BRAVER LIVING! Another woman had several unannounced visitors in the same day; instead of fussing over how she looked or how the house looked, she invited each person in warmly and was fully present. That’s a Tiny Act of Rebellion; that’s BRAVER LIVING! Braver Living looks different for each woman: for one woman it might be starting to do something, and for another it might be deciding to stop doing the very same thing. But for each woman, it’s making one small choice to stop living out of fear and start living out of love.
Most of our readers are writers. What will they learn in the pages of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life that they can apply to their writing journeys?
Kathi: Share your story – share your power. People are dying to hear that they are not alone. That if they are broken or damaged, at least there are others who are as well. That’s what writing does, proves to the read that they are not alone.
Cheri: The chapters on procrastination will be especially valuable, as well as the chapter on fear vs. love. I wrote those after spending days avoiding the manuscript, and I finally realized that I was allowing evil /villainy — which says the only way a human being can be motivated is by fear — to win. That startled me into action. Writing should be motivated by love, not fear. I also think the chapter on personalities is valuable — to know your potential weaknesses but especially your strengths and work from those areas of God-giftedness.
What adventures await you after the launch of this book? Do you have another book project in the works?
Kathi: Cheri and I are cooking up another book, but for now I’m working on Clutter-Free (another reoccurring topic that Cheri and I tend to discuss on a daily basis.) It talks about some of the same issues of The Cure, but now it applies to the piles of stuff around our homes (and I know that other authors struggle with that too.)
Cheri: Oh, I hope so! As our launch team responds to the book, I’m thinking, “Oh, we need to address that! Oh, we didn’t think about that! Oh, that’s a great idea we need to explore!”
But the big adventure for me right now is marketing this book for the next year in as many creative ways as possible. It may be the only book I ever have the privilege to write, and I intend to enjoy it to the fullest!
Thank you for answering all my questions. I love the book and asked a friend to be my Bravery Buddy and go through it with me–so we can encourage each other and hold each other accountable. I’m sure our readers will want to do the same!
_____
Wife, mother and devoted follower of Christ, Elizabeth M Thompson writes articles and devotionals and is learning the art of fiction writing. She leads weekly TwitterChats at #WritetoInspire and hosts writers conferences and workshops. When she’s not writing or serving the members of Inspire Christian Writers, she loves to ride bikes along the American River with her husband Mike and their children.
Apr 27, 2014 | For Writers, Uncategorized
When I began to write seriously, I knew I had a lot to learn about the craft. I also knew I would need to grow in my knowledge of the publishing industry. What I didn’t expect was that God would use my passion for writing to build my character. I am His project, even as I pursue my writing projects.
God is using my writing journey to redefine me. And build my character.
Some of the tools in His tool belt are:
Harsh Critiques and Rejections
Yes, I get them too. We all do. It’s what we do with them that matters. We can dig in our heels and become rigid or we can prayerfully remain pliable in our Master Builder’s hands. I have to keep my pride in check to remain teachable.
Praise
Praise can be such a trap! It is easy for me to begin to think I’m pretty special when people speak kindly of me and my work. God gently reminds me I am nothing without Him. He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30
Difficult People
As a writer, I encounter lots of people. Writers mostly, and some agents, editors, bloggers, and readers. I love people and generally get along well with others (I have my kindergarten report card to prove it!) Every once in a while God puts someone in my path who grates on me. Usually, these people exhibit character traits I see in myself and don’t like. I learn to love better through those who are harder to love.
Waiting, Waiting and More Waiting
The publishing industry moves at a glacial pace. Each step toward publication is painstakingly protracted. I can’t remain impatient and survive as a writer. God is teaching me patience.
Fear
As an artist, fear is my foe! But it also is a great teacher along my spiritual journey, showing me areas I need growth, God. My fears of rejection, failure, success, exposure, and obscurity can stop me in my tracks. God uses these fears to remind me that He is greater. He can break their fetters and free me to write vulnerably in the face of them. My job is to bring my trembling heart to Him. And to persevere even when I’m afraid.
Maybe these tools look all too familiar to you. Or maybe, God uses different means to shape your character through your writing journey. I’d love to hear what you’re learning. How you’re growing.
Elizabeth M. Thompson leads Inspire Christian Writers. When she’s not writing devotionals, she’s studying the art and craft of fiction with her Inspire Elk Grove group. She enjoys connecting with other writers via Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
She has an active home which she shares with her fabulous husband Mike, three children, two dogs and a few errant dust bunnies.
Mar 30, 2014 | For Writers, Uncategorized
Attend a writers’ conference or read a book on craft and you’ll receive this advice: “If you’re serious about writing, join a critique group.”
The first time I heard this I thought, You want me to let someone read my writing and tell me it’s drivel? No thanks, I can figure that out on my own.
The truth is, I can’t figure it out on my own. I have blind spots. And I have no way of knowing how others will perceive my words.
Maybe your pendulum swings to the opposite end of the spectrum and you think, I know how to write. I don’t need anyone telling me where to put commas or that my protagonist lacks dimension.
So, why do writers need each other?
Here are some benefits a critique group provides:
Useful Feedback
As writers the only feedback we receive comes in the form of acceptance letters or rejection notices. By the time we receive either, we’ve invested a lot of time, effort and emotion creating our article or manuscript. Critique group members point out our strengths and weaknesses before we send anything out. Then we can fix any problems and increase our acceptances.
I’d much rather hear from my writer friends that I need to work out some bugs in my writing than have it rejected by a publisher.
Insight into the Craft
Our writers are serious about learning the craft. And they bring unique knowledge and skills to each manuscript. This results in a steep increase in knowledge and skills for each writer.
I have learned more from my critique partners than I have through books or workshops.
Emotional and Spiritual Support
Writing is hard, and often lonely work. Meeting regularly with other writers provides camaraderie and encouragement we miss if we choose to be lone-ranger writers. Our group members pray for each other and our projects.
We commiserate when our work is rejected. And sharing the journey with other writers makes the joys more joyful as we celebrate our victories.
Learning About the Publishing Industry
The world of publishing is changing fast. In order to stay up with the changes, our writers stay plugged in through industry publications, blogs, tweets, Facebook and conferences. We share information we gather and help each other understand the big picture and how we fit into it.
Accountability
I don’t know about you, but I need deadlines. Meeting regularly with my critique group provides them.
These are just a few of the benefits of critique groups. I’m sure you could add to this list. Let me know how your critique group helps you.
Not in a group yet? You can get connected by submitting a Critique Group Interest Form and one of our leaders will help you get plugged in.
Elizabeth M. Thompson leads Inspire Christian Writers. When she’s not working on nonfiction projects, she can be found pedaling beside or paddling along the American River. She enjoys connecting with other writers via Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
She has an active home which she shares with her fabulous husband Mike, three children, two dogs and a few errant dust bunnies.
Aug 7, 2013 | For Writers
Critique groups are the backbone of Inspire. Where the magic happens. Where inspiration, perspiration, and determination face the music. Where writers discover their work is brilliant or fit for the compost heap.
It’s like a twice-a-month American Idol audition.
Are you nervous yet? There’s no need to be.
When you bring your writing to an Inspire critique group, you can be sure of three things:
- You’ll get honest feedback.
- The writers giving the feedback care–about you, your work, and your success.
- You’ll be a better writer because you participated.
So, how do our critique groups work?
Each group meets regularly, usually twice a month. Writers submit their manuscripts to the group several days in advance. Then the writers critique each manuscript following our Critique Guidelines.
The writers bring the critiqued items to the group meeting and share their feedback. These are the guidelines we use:
- Always begin and end with something positive or encouraging.
- Offer suggestions for repairing things you think need changed, being sensitive and gentle. (“Speak the truth in love.” Ephesians 4:15)
- Don’t talk about commas, spelling, etc. Mark, but don’t mention.
- Offer constructive criticism on clarity, not style.
- Give both general and specific feedback. Be as constructive as you can.
- Resist the temptation to mention something that has already discussed.
- Feel free to say nothing.
See, it’s nothing to be nervous about.
If you’re not in a critique group, you may find one in your area on our Groups Page. If there’s not one near you, we’d be happy to plug you into an online group. Our currently-forming online critique groups will operate much like our in-person groups.
What questions do you still have about critique groups? Are you in one? If so, how has it helped you develop your writing skills?
Elizabeth M. Thompson leads Inspire Christian Writers. She enjoys connecting with other writers via Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. She has an active home which she shares with her fabulous husband Mike, three children, two dogs and a few errant dust bunnies.
Elizabeth is a passionate Bible student, gardener and competitive karaoke singer, though she’s never tried out for any reality TV singing shows.
Jun 25, 2013 | For Writers
Move past self-protective fear to write with honesty, transparency, and vulnerability.
What makes you love great writing?
Have you thought about what your favorite authors have in common? I have. And I discovered that I love books that resonate with me. I know I’ve stumbled onto something wonderful when a book allows me to glimpse inside the writer’s soul.
As a writer, I want to impact my readers that way. I hope that is your goal too. So what can we do to become more transparent in our writing? I’ve come up with a few ideas. Maybe you can add to them.
Forgive past offenses.
When we’ve been hurt, it is easy to construct protective walls around our hearts. Those walls may keep us from getting hurt (probably not, but that’s why we build them), but they create a distance between us and our readers.
Unforgiveness comes across in writing as legalism or know-it-all-ism. It preaches at the readers, talking down to them instead of inviting them into conversation or story.
Focus on Your Readers
If you are writing to someone, you will be more authentic. You’ll move beyond, “Here I am. Let me tell you what I know!” to “There you are. How can I add value to you today?”
Picture your target reader. Imagine her reading your words and reacting to them. What does she feel as she reads them. Has she learned to trust you to teach her or take her on a soul-stirring journey? Are you giving her what she needs in this moment, in a way she can receive ? Do your words resonate with her?
Trust the Lord with Your Reputation
One of the quickest ways to alienate a reader is to try to impress him. Readers don’t care how much you know. They don’t care how witty you are or how you’ve perfected your prose. They want to learn from you or be entertained by you. They want to connect with you on an emotional journey. If you are preening on the paper, you may be admired from afar, but you’ll never touch the heart of your reader.
If you ask yourself, “Will this make me look good?” you’re going to distance your readers. Let God take care of your reputation and how you look. Instead, ask yourself, “How will my readers benefit from this? What will they learn? What will they experience?”
What keeps you from writing with vulnerability? What steps will you take to overcome those things and connect on a deeper level with your reader?
Elizabeth M. Thompson leads Inspire Christian Writers. When she’s not writing devotionals or planning the next Write to Inspire conference, she’s learning to write more transparently with her Inspire Elk Grove group. She enjoys connecting with other writers via Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
She has an active home which she shares with her fabulous husband Mike, three children, two dogs and a few errant dust bunnies.
Sep 4, 2012 | For Writers
One of the greatest benefits of membership in Inspire Christian Writers is our local critique groups. In these groups our writers present the fruit of their labor to several other writers for the honest truth, the constructive feedback necessary to make the piece the best it can be.
Often we receive positive comments from our fellow writers. We hear, “Wow, great job with the dialogue.” or “I like the way you transitioned your scenes.” or “Now get to work on the next chapter, I can’t wait to read it!”
It’s great when our work is praised and we feel encouraged to keep writing. But what do we do when our writing receives a harsh critique? When the writers in our group just didn’t enjoy the piece and their feedback brings pain and discouragement?
When I first participated in critique groups, my skin was very thin. I took every criticism to heart and on more than one occasion, cried all the way home from our critique session. With each word spoken against my manuscript, my heart heard, “What made you think you could write?” “This is crummy writing.” “You should just give up before you really embarrass yourself.”
Maybe you’ve been there too. That lonely place where you are your writing and your writing is you. Where you can’t separate yourself from your project so you can look at it objectively.
What I’ve learned after years of giving and receiving feedback is this: The wounds of a friend can be trusted. (Proverbs 27:6) Those painful critiques may help me become a better writer if I know what to do with them.
Now when I receive negative feedback on my manuscript, I ask myself these questions:
1. Is it true?
Is there any truth in what was said about my piece? Does my dialogue need work? Is my point of view too distant? Do my words lay on the page so lifeless even CPR won’t bring them back? If there is no truth in the feedback, I simply disregard it.
Almost always, there is truth in the criticism I receive. So, I ask the next question.
2. What can I do to fix it?
How can I fix the problems pointed out to me by my critique partners? Are there stronger verbs I could choose? Do I need to re-write a scene in a more intimate viewpoint? Should I scrap this paragraph all together? Can I improve the dialogue by creating more oblique responses?
After I determine what must be fixed and what I can leave untouched, I ask myself one more question:
3. What does God want me to learn from this?
Often when I’m really struggling with a tough critique (or worse–a rejection) there is something I need to learn that will help me become a better writer. As I open myself to learning and growing I become more objective. I am able to view my writing through the lens of truth, seeing both its merits and its faults.
Once I can see my writing weaknesses I can begin to improve them. That is the beauty of critique groups, we learn to see our areas of weakness so we can improve our craft.
Next time you receive a tough critique, I hope you’ll pause and ask these three questions.
Meanwhile, what do you do when your work receives painful feedback?
Elizabeth M. Thompson leads Inspire Christian Writers. When she’s not writing devotionals, she’s studying the art and craft of fiction with her Inspire Elk Grove group. She enjoys connecting with other writers via Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
She has an active home which she shares with her fabulous husband Mike, three children, two dogs and a few errant dust bunnies.
Jul 9, 2012 | For Writers
Tomorrow evening (July 10th) I will be hosting Inspire’s first Tweet Chat, an interview with literary agent Chip MacGregor. The chat will begin at 6pm (PDT) and run for an hour. I’ll begin by welcoming Chip and then asking him a few introductory questions.
Next (and this is where you come in) I’ll invite you to ask your questions. Start thinking of what you’d like to know from Chip.
I realize many of our writers are new to Twitter, so I thought I’d post some basics to help you navigate the Tweet Chat.
How to Chat on Twitter:
On twitter I am @InspireWriters and plan to host future chats on all aspects of Christian Writing.
Here are the simple steps.
1. Enter “#WritetoInspire” into the search box at the top of the Twitter page. When you hit search, you will find the tweet stream.
2. To comment and interact you must include #WritetoInspire (our hashtag) with EVERY tweet. If you copy and paste the hashtag, it will be really easy.
3. Try to stay on subject and follow the stream of the conversation. Use times outside chats to ask other important and relevant questions.
4. Be courteous. This is a time for open discussion.
5. Connect: chats provide a great opportunity to follow and develop followers among the writers who participate.
6. Pray for the chat and those who take part in it.
7. Invite others. We are growing and will offer more chats as part of our mission to equip writers to inspire the world.
Here is a schedule for our current chats on #WritetoInspire:
Tuesday, July 10th 6-7pm PDT. Interview Chip MacGregor
Tuesday, July 17th 6-7pm PDT. Interview Susy Flory
Thanks to Cheri Douglas for sharing his wisdom about Tweet Chats. You can find Cheri here: @CheriDouglas
Are you ready to Chat with Chip? Do you have any questions about Tweet Chats or need any help getting on Twitter?
Elizabeth M. Thompson leads Inspire Christian Writers. When she’s not writing devotionals or planning the next Write to Inspire conference, she’s learning to write more transparently with her Inspire Elk Grove group. She enjoys connecting with other writers via Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
She has an active home which she shares with her fabulous husband Mike, three children, two dogs and a few errant dust bunnies.
May 18, 2012 | For Writers
Last week I was selected as a member of Michael Hyatt’s Platform Launch Team. Along with an incredible group of writers, speakers, bloggers and other leaders, I am helping to launch his new book, Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World.
If you are not already following Michael Hyatt’s blog, you really should. He blogs about intentional leadership, productivity, publishing, and social media. He is the Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishing and served as CEO until he chose to step down to pursue his writing and speaking full-time. He generously shares his experience and expertise on his blog and in his book.
Over the past several years, I have watched as Michael grew his platform to over 400,000 monthly blog readers and 122,000 Twitter followers.
When he asked his readers to apply for a spot on his launch team, over 900 of us did. Imagine having 900 people who want to help you launch your book!
Only 100 were selected. As a part of his team, I received an advance copy of Platform, which I read and reviewed on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com and ChristianBook.com.
The launch team members have been sharing notes and reviews with each other while we 
brainstorm ways to improve our own platforms. We are also learning directly from Michael. So far, it has been a powerful experience.
I am getting an education in both building a platform and launching a book. I’m excited about the impact this education will have for Inspire as I implement what I’m learning.
As a writer, you will need to build a platform, too. I highly recommend Michael’s book as the blueprint for creating the platform you need to get your message, your book in front of people where it can minister to them.
Platform will be released the week of May 21st. But don’t buy it yet! Michael is offering seven free bonus gifts valued at $375 when you purchase the book during the release week. I will blogging more about this next week, so stay tuned!
What has been your biggest challenge in building your own platform? What unexpected blessings have come from building your platform?
Elizabeth M. Thompson leads Inspire Christian Writers. When she’s not writing devotionals, she’s studying the art and craft of fiction with her Inspire Elk Grove group. She enjoys connecting with other writers via Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
She has an active home which she shares with her fabulous husband, three children, two dogs and a few errant dust bunnies.
Apr 15, 2012 | For Writers
As writers we’re encouraged to blog as a way to connect with our readers and build a platform. Blogging is fun and engaging and a great creative outlet. Except when we are giving all our creative energy to writing our books and blogging becomes another task on our to-do list.
So, what can we do when the well of ideas dries up? Here are some pointers from CopyBlogger:
What tips would you add to this list? Which ones will you try?
Elizabeth M. Thompson leads Inspire Christian Writers. When she’s not writing devotionals, she’s studying the art and craft of fiction with her Inspire Elk Grove group. She enjoys connecting with other writers via Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
She has an active home which she shares with a great husband, three children, two dogs and a few errant dust bunnies.
